Yoga is the glue that holds this family together.
I got to realize this for the 100th time this past Friday at Menil Park. Harry and I had a yoga date and went to an Acro Yoga and Slacking Jam. It was a real marker of how much yoga has grown in our relationship with each other, and the important role it plays. Here is our yogic back story and the journey we have had.
Four years ago when I met my husband I was a whirl wind of activity-I danced 30 hours a week, taught 10 classes, and ran 12 miles a week. Oh and I worked at Lululemon. How I found the time to pick Harry up in a bar with a pack of tamales I don’t know, but it was the best decision I ever made. I was at a point in my life where I realized to have a solid relationship I needed to be able to share something, just 1 passion with someone. Harry was at that point too, having gone through a divorce where he realized that there was nothing holding them together. So when he found out I was a yoga instructor he asked for recommendations for a class. In his words “It’s been around for thousands of years, there’s got to be something to it.” I knew I was going to marry him right then. Or rock his world. Either way it was the sexiest thing a man had ever said to me.
Harry took some beginner classes, attended some of my yoga and pilates classes, and quickly got into amazing shape. He was hooked and I was impressed. And totally in love. We had something we could really talk about, something that changed with every class we took. We where learning how to really communicate through a subject we shared a passion for. So when I became pregnant with our son, it was only natural for Harry to take care of me. He drove me to all my classes, and became my star on the mat. After 12 weeks when I was no longer allowed to lay on my tummy it became Harry’s job to be on the mat in front of the class and demonstrate. He was a natural and did everything I said perfectly. Later on this would be a problem but for that moment I was SO thankful.
Time went by, baby came, our universe imploded for a bit. But eventually we both got back in our yoga groove. Harry found a teacher that he loved and I despised. I realize now I was upset because it meant Harry was no longer MY student, my mat model. He had a found a teacher that was giving him his own vocabulary, ideas, references, even asanas. Finally Harry couldn’t take my harping and made me go take the class. I was hooked. My husband was right. This was an amazing teacher and my husband was becoming his own yogi without me, but at the same time was bringing something fresh into our yoga lives. Because my husband is always willing to share what he knows. So we finally took a partner yoga class. It was amazing. The poses where about love and thoughtfulness. Then we tried to fly a bit together-an acro pose where one person lies on the ground and supports the other person above them with their feet and hands. No good. We couldn’t get it, we didn’t care. It was one exercise in a sea of awesomeness. It would turn out to be a critical error later.
So then we did another partner yoga class, and this pose came up much earlier then it had before. We both became frustrated with each other. I see now it was because Harry was internally becoming ready to become a teacher, he didn’t quite have the words or manners for it yet but was definitely budding. The class left us both with some pretty sore egos and shaken trust in each other.
Fast forward 2 years later. Harry has been teaching for 6 months. He has a niche in the community for teaching a solid beginners and restorative class. Let me tell you, newbies are the hardest and most gratifying group to teach. They need love, humor, and generosity. And my husband has this in spades.
We decide to go to the acro jam at the park. I’m nervous about the last debacle 2 years ago and am a solid bitch all the way to the park. They we roll out the mat and start flying. I ate my humble pie right then and there and washed it down with a big glass of love and gratitude. We had so much fun! We where talking each other through it equally, and Harry taught me the most about the basics. We where both able to communicate with assistance of the ever lovely Melissa Smith, and I was able to fly my 6’3″ Super Hubby. I have always been thankful for us sharing yoga, but never so much as at that moment. I saw how far we have come, and how bright our future is.
Every couple needs something. Something that they are both good at, that they can share. Something that keeps a door for communication open. And communication is constant practice, and I have found that having something external for practicing communication is perfect. You can’t always communicate about life and death what is the meaning of it all – you’ll kill the other person just to make it stop. But you can’t wait till the moments come up to practice communication because you’ll be so rusty you’ll end up hurting yourself and the person you love. So you need something. Something you both love and can share together to learn and practice how to talk to each other, and how to listen. My aunt and uncle, their thing was raising kids. They are amazing parents, and when it comes to kids and what is best for them they are right on board with sharing, listening, and figuring it out. Our friends Chris and Betsy, they build and race cars, and are fantastic cooks. So it doesn’t have to be yoga, but every couple needs a binding agent that acts like a catalyst for growth. You need SOMETHING. And our thing is yoga. I can’t wait to go to another acro jam with my best friend, and favorite yogi.
Go fourth and find your something!